I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
