no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
