She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
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