I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
