Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize