I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
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What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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