and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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