I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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