my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
