Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
