but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
