ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
