Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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