Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
