I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
