Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
