She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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