Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Gay?
German.
Pity.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
