6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
