We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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