Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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