So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
