Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize