I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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