Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
