My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
