textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize