jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
