It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
