So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize