There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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