phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
