Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
