he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
