She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
