Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
