I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
