Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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