so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Randomize
