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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."

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• (310): View more from California

  she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.

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• (516): View more from New York

  1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.

  (516): View more from New York

  By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing

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• (949): View more from California

  Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me

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• (510): View more from California

  I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.

  (1-859): View more from Kentucky

  Oh wow. I want to be you right now.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.

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