you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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