she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
