i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Help. Why am I so naked?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
