Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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