ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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