I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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