my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Sober January is a disaster.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
