i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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