Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
