So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
