god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
