don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
