week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
