Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Randomize
