Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
