i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
