the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
