so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
