he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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