the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
BRING THE BAGELS
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
