in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
