all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
