I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
