Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
